


Do the Math

by GillO



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-20
Updated: 2010-09-20
Packaged: 2017-10-12 01:09:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/119129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GillO/pseuds/GillO
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Season 7, a discussion of Spike's age leads to an annoyed Spike.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do the Math

"Two hundred years old? Who told you that - the Council of Wankers?"

"It may have been in the relevant file, yes. We had other sources, however."

Spike stopped pacing for a moment. "Sources?"

"Yes. When you first arrived in Sunnydale. We were told... "

"Oh for fuck's sake. You paid attention to that tosser, didn't you? How old did he say _he_ was? And Drusilla?"

"I do not recall precisely. Some two hundred and forty years, I believe."

"And the bleeding rest! He was born in the 1720s. Do the bloody sums, Watcher!"

"A minor mistake over so long a time, surely?"

"Mistake, my arse! He had you believing Dru's younger than me, right? He sired her twenty years before she met me. And she isn't anywhere near two hundred yet. Not a day over a hundred and sixty-five, I'll swear."

Buffy stopped doodling and fixed him with The Look. "And why, exactly, is it suddenly so important to take Vampire-Dating 101?"

A pause.

"I didn't say that. Only in the sense of carbon-dating."

Head-tilt.

"No carbon involved it, pet. Just need to make a point."

"A point you have made at extensive, nay, excessive, length. It clearly touched a nerve."

"And so it bloody would with you, you git, if someone asked you what you remembered of something that happened before you were born. I do _**not**_ remember Keats, the Prince Regent or Jane Austen. The Brontes croaked five years before I was born. And, chip or no chip, the next buffoon who sends the Bit to ask me for eye-witness reports of the Spanish Inquisition is going to get a serious neck injury!"

The wounded vampire retired to snarl and sulk in his corner. Buffy and Giles tiptoed up the stairs. Perhaps it had been wrong to represent Spike as such a good source of material for history reports. But it was funny.


End file.
